Monday, May 25, 2009

Slightly still you

It's 1 in the afternoon and i just woke up with random things in mind. I haven't showered and just finish my supposed-to-be-a-morning-ritual thingy(and i bet u don't want the detail).

Here, i am sitting nicely with my boyfriend's laptop (i 'forced' to borrow it from him, tee hee) and typing this post with half of my consciousness flew away to other dimension.
i actually wrote when i felt like i wanna wrote something. And it is rarely happened, becoz i wrote when i can't express my feelings or if everything seems to be overloaded. Now, i feel both.

Speaking about being honest, honestly i don't seem really honest when i wrote a blog. Coz most of the time all i do is paraphrasing the words. It is hard to be bold and knowing that thousand of people might read your thoughts.
I used to think that no body will read this trash, no one will read someone else blog unless they are somebody. But curiousity makes me put the visitor counter widget below this blog and founds out that 4thousand people reading or at least 'walking' around my blog. It is surprising to know that people actually read your blog even when it's actually just a piece of crap. It is actually a good thing becoz blog is meant to be read. But for me, there is a moment where i just want to be an anonymous and said whatever i want to say without afraid to get busted. Sounds like i want to be a GossipGirl in blog kind of way is it? yekh.

But since it is impossible to become an anonymous, let's just jazz it up shall we?
Something just pissing me off lately. Now it is not becoz i don't understand about how things works. But because i am a hundred percent understood about things and how it is works.
Again, i paraphrase it.

Let me show u this quote "The world could be amazing when you are SLIGHTLY strange" do you get why im bolding up that word? Becoz people are tend to ignore that words and become GREATLY strange! they thought that when u are AMAZINGLY strange, u could make the world AMAZING. Kiss my foot!
These people really make me sick. To be frank, i am a weirdo, i am a geek and i am SLIGHTLY strange, but i am what i am. It is sad to see people AMAZINGLY strange just becoz they act like somebody else. The worst part is, u actually used to falling love with their attitude and suddenly u don't know who they are and u stand there, cursing them. It feels good when u do that, but after u go to bed rewind about what u just did to them, u feel miserable. Coz deep down, you could see them more than a strange looser. You still recognize their real color, SLIGHTLY.

It is hurts to see the lost in their face. They could draw the widest smile ever and laugh as hard as they can, but they can't fool the eye. It's empty, and it is too complicated for me to fill it.
I can't help much, and it is sad to know all you can do is watching them drawn into self-pity.
I always thought that i could get over it. But the truth is being hypocrite just makes me feel miserable. Makes me look like them. I know why i care so much about them, but the reason is just too deep to confess. And i don't want to admit it.

Damn, i am a hyprocrite. So do u, so do us.
If it comes to hypocrite thing, i'll drag all of u into it. Coz i could bet this whole world for you that once in your life, u must did something hypocrite.

So when this is over???
Could they become just SLIGHTLY strange?
I miss it. And missing is hurting.
and obviously, it is not an ending. YET.

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